ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
