K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
