Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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