he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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