Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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