How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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