He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
