i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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