she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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