Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
only you would photoshop your dick
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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