My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
