Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
