I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize