Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize