"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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