the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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