i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
