I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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