everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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