I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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