I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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