I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Who did Billy Mays play for?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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