dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
