tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
