Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
