theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
