never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm like, not good at living.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
