What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
