Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
