when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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