sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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