i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
