Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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