Sry I called you an 8
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
