lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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