Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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