wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
