I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
