the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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