I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
