how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
