I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Mom said you looked used
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
