"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
