Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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