I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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