Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
