We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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