She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
