The maid of honor just puked.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
