Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
