I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The air taste purple.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
