hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
