You're my little dorito
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
