My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
