And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
