I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just cropdusted the office
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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